Catching Up After Months Away & Goodbye
I left this blog laying fallow somewhere around the end of May. I was trying to bring blood sugar spiking under control, address adrenal fatigue, and other health issues. I could have posted during that time, but there are days I feel I would have had to post several times to deal with how many direction changes occurred. It was hard keeping up and I lived it.
I’ll try to sum it up: It sucked.
Ok – seriously, though. In the last several months I have tried nearly every kind of diet adjustment it’s possible to make, and none of them seemed to work – for my blood sugars nor my weight. Then, I discovered I had been testing with a bad batch of test strips, and my blood sugars were actually almost normal! Months of frustration for nothing. I even did a sugar challenge at one point and I’m happy to say that I still produce Insulin and my body still responds to it. My liver definitely was problematic, though – spitting out sugar at perceived lows, so I’ve gone away from low-carb which has helped. I’ve addressed much of the digestion issues, but I’m on a supplement hiatus to get some distance from substances that could be giving false results to tests we’re trying to iron out.
It’s hard when you feel you have to ‘name’ what you do, when it seems like what you do changes meal by meal. In fact, I no longer identify with Paleo. It was easiest to describe my lifestyle as such for a time, but over the last couple of years it’s been harder to feel that really ‘fit’ me. I believe more in Weston A Price, though I won’t be ‘labeling’ myself that either. I’m not Paleo, I’m not doing low-carb, I’m not dieting.
I did say “Fuck It!” after I found out I was severely restricting myself to achieve better blood sugars when I didn’t need to. I spent some time eating things I’d not allowed myself. I’m feeling a bit more settled now, but I’ve been following Go Kaleo and learning how to Eat the Food and just eat intuitively – find what I like to eat, what treats me well, etc. I’m beyond caring about the scale. All I want is to heal my lumbar disc and MOVE. I want to fuel a life of my making and be happy.
This feels like an extension of my journey. I’ve spent YEARS trying to have a healthy relationship with food. It’s clear to me now that allowing any outside influence to determine what I deem healthy or otherwise isn’t very healthy in and of itself. I’m taking that power back for myself.
There have been a lot of changes in my life, and there are many more slated for the next year. I have no interest in keeping this blog up and running. I’m taking a different road. My kids and I are undertaking a fun new homeschooling-life-chapter and will be blogging about that elsewhere. I will leave you who read this with a deep, abiding, and sincere wish that you find peace. Love yourself in all ways. Fuel, movement, stress relief, etc. Whatever that means to you. My prayers go with you on that journey. Only YOU can decide where that takes you.
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